If bricks and mortar could be described as
friends, then 5 Shakespeare buildings has been one of the greatest. And in the
same way that you feel as a friend walks away knowing that it’s the last time
you’ll see them, so does leaving our home.
All packed and moved, the empty rooms have
a reverb that I’ve never heard before, and an echo and a resonance of all the
memories born there. The excitement of seeing our dream home on the market and
going for the first viewing, to the day we got the keys and started taking the
bathroom apart that afternoon, with a naïve youthful excitement that seems such
a long time ago – one that I don’t remember feeling in such a long time.
We’ve had good times. Enjoyment, happiness, and celebrations, parties and gatherings, hope and excitement, and certainly a lot of blood, sweat graft and tears to reveal the potential we saw this property always had to be the greatest home. We always had a vision for this friend and on the whole we reached it.
We also shared lows, disappointments,
sadness, illness, questions and empty feelings of dissatisfaction. Every room,
wall, fitting and floorboard has a memory attached categorized by one of the
emotions above. Some good, some not so good. But all significant experiences
and memories that have shaped us.
One regret I have is not finishing some of
the jobs. I never tidied the plumbing under the kitchen sink and the cable was
never cut on the breakfast bar to name 2 of the little things that now I’ll
never have chance to succeed at.
Hannah often reminded me of the need to cut
the cable and many times I said I’d get round to it when I get the correct
tool. It was a genuine answer with genuine intentions. However, it is the
evidence we leave upon which others will judge - based on what we do, not our
intentions. And on that task I failed. But perhaps it’s the imperfections and
the failures that leave as much of an authentic, characterful mark than if we
completed a perfect show home. Like the toe print on the landing wall where I
stood too close after finishing the plaster work. A story a perfect wall
wouldn’t be able to tell.
A small thing it may be, but I feel oddly
empty and disappointed with myself that I never cut the breakfast bar cable for
Hannah. A regret? Yes, but one I should learn from.
Eventually, we all run out of time, and the
things on our to do list will never be crossed off. I don’t know if I always
got my priorities right, and I don’t suppose I will in the future, but having
tasted this feeling of unfinished business I don’t relish my final moments here
knowing I was meant to do something, be something, but never got around to it.
Perspective is a funny thing. We have
achieved so much with our home, but I leave with a sadness and slight sense of failure
– that it wasn’t all that it could have been and that it was my lacking that
now means I will never get opportunity to put those things right. I’m sure my
perspective with flit and become ever more rosey with passing time.
But ultimately it’s been a place where
Hannah and I have grown together so much over the last 8 years. We have loved
it. It’s a special place. And that will endure.
During my last evening in the house, alone,
I’ve attempted to find the soundtrack suitable for the moment. Songs with many
memories and bands that have been a constant through our married life, but what
I settled on was silence, all but for the crackling fire. Hannah chose our
stove – an AGA Little Wenlock, and she made a great choice as it’s made great
company for many evenings in, either drinking wine with friends, playing
Carcassonne, watching films, wrapping
presents, or accompanying chats that would go long into the night. Another
regret to add to the list is never spending Christmas morning in the house and
lighting the fire before unwrapping what Father Christmas had left. Always a
magical thought that we never got around to. We must make sure that doesn’t happen
too often.
I must take this opportunity to thank all
the people that joined us on our journey with restoring 5 Shakespeare
Buildings. Risking leaving people out these are the ones that spring to mind
- Mum & Dad
- Uni friends who helped us move
- Liz and Jon – for the copious amounts of DIY over the years and everything else!
- Paul Kern for fitting the bathroom door – important job!
- Si & Cas who so so generously let us crash at their gaff while we did the kitchen
- Si for the evenings spent plumbing and plasterboarding!
- Chris and Claire for the meals
- Chris for helping with the drive
- Luke & britta
- Ben W for the various tasks over the years
- Will for painting the floor and… umm… must have done something else?
- All the folks who came to help paint the fence
- Dave for helping with the garden and getting our stuff out (failed with the wardrobe though ;))
- All the people who visited and made the place lively and living, a home and not a house.
- And anyone else who in this moment I’ve forgotten
I could continue to reminisce about the
many things that have happened over the last 8 years at Shakespeare buildings, our
lodger, Amy, our pets Daisy, Marsha and George, friends and family who visited,
the neighbours and their racial slurs, the banter heard shouted from the
bowling green, the stupid things I did during the DIY escapades, the parties,
the meals, the gatherings, the films, but some things are best kept between
friends.
So long buddy. You were a good one!
